"Self-care" has kinda become a buzzword that people roll their eyes at. (Check out the College Humor sketch if you wanna know what I mean... ugh.) For a while, I even refused to say it because it just sounded so corny, like something those ladies-who-only-ever-wear-Lululemon-but-never-do-yoga-or-exercise would say.
No, "self-care" is not lying to your boss by calling out sick because you want to go see that movie on opening day with your girlfriend.
It's not the thing you tell the guy who keeps bugging you for a date, as in, "Sorry, I can't get dinner with you, I need some 'me time' tonight. Actually, I need 'me time' every night until further notice... at least until I meet someone way more attractive than you."
It's not the thing you tell yourself in order to enable your own spending. Like, "This $300 bag will make me feel so much better, and then I'll be able to manifest the wealth because the universe will know that I'll now have something to put all that money in. Besides, when I feel better, I'll be more motivated at work, I'll be a better partner, and a whole bunch of other things that I don't actually mean but that sound nice."
I mean, that last one has a kernel of truth in it, but you get the idea, right? Self-care isn't an excuse you use to make things go your way, or a way to tell yourself that you deserve every sparkly, frivolous thing that comes across your path.
Self-care is what you do to make sure you can keep being a good human being.
And what is the definition of a good human being? A good human being helps other people. A good human being is kind. A good human being shows up for their loved ones to the best of their ability. A good human being tries not to take her own baggage out on others when she's having a tired moment.
Ironic, isn't it? That SELF-care is essential to being kind and caring to OTHER people.
I learned this the hard way. As a self-identified introvert, there were days when I'd come home from an emotionally draining job, working with kids who've experienced trauma and loss that I can't even imagine, and then try to go out with friends or console family members on the phone. HA! IT NO WORK!
Not only was I depleted of energy because I'd been around people all day, but I was trying to give so much of myself and my resources to other people that I was running on empty. I was cranky when I was with my friends, I would space out when my sister really needed me to hear her, and I'd wake up in the morning dreading work.
How does that serve ANYONE?! It DON'T, honey.
So I started say "no" more often, and guess what? No one got hurt. I was more present for my clients, my friends, and my family. Even though I didn't see my loved ones as frequently, I could offer them MORE when I was there.
So on this beautiful #SelfishSaturday, give yourself a time-out. Check-in with your body. What does it need RIGHT NOW in order to continue being your instrument for putting good out into the world? Does it need to recharge by being quiet and still? Does it feel sluggish and need some fresh air? Does it need to dance?
Comment and tell me one thing your body is telling you it needs, and then GO DO IT, my friend!